I was scrolling through my phone and paused for a moment when I saw a beautiful picture of my parents. For their last wedding anniversary, I organized a photo shoot with a local photographer. The essence of these photos highlighted a lifetime of love, but more so, a lifetime of challenges, trials, victories, failures, argument, prayer, laughter, compassion, children, and grandchildren. A lifetime of marriage!
Research conducted at Yale University states that 42% of Black women will marry, 58% of black women will not wed. An astonishing amount of black women will never experience the beauty of marriage. I was so prepared to make a case for myself and female brown and black girls. The truth is, we have heard this message so loud and clear that it leaves us at times helpless in our pursuits of love and marriage.
The notion that we are not worthy of love. With the constant reminder that black men are incarcerated at higher rates than white. The facts on socioeconomic status and education. We’ve heard it many times. I wanted to reiterate these points and share that I was no longer apart of the statistics. But, I uncovered greater insight and an even more powerful message to share.
Through researching I’ve learned that black women do marry, that educated black women don’t always have it harder, that black men earn enough to care for a family and that a black man will marry me. I referenced this article posted on Thoughtco. An insightful article written by Nadra Kareem Nittle entitled Black Marriages: Four Myths Busted by Facts. The author explores statistics and shares a different perspective on black marriages. A healthy, hopeful perspective.
I really appreciated this article, as it shifted my perspective on this issue. We needed this article!
I join with ThoughtCo. to emphasize and empower women, especially black women, to not give up on love. Regardless of age, education, and money, know that whatever you desire can be achieved. Know that love will find you in the most unexpected places. Know that the statistics exist, but you are not the statistics. Also, know that you can choose a life without marriage and still be fulfilled.
A Black Woman
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